I don't know what to do.

Chairman_Tiel · Post by **Chairman_Tiel** » Mon Feb 04, 2013 4:41 pm

I am not Catholic, my mom is a Jehovah's Witness but I'm agnostic. That's another point of contrition.

As far as her being brought up differently, that much is irrefutable. I can't do anything about that, though, and talking is no longer an option for me. Every time I visit my father on the other side of the country I convince myself I'm in the wrong and that I can be a better. But then I come back, ready to try again, and this stuff comes up every single time. The gist of most conflicts is she wants me to do something and tries to hold my computer or other belongings hostage until I carry out the task. That doesn't sit well with me, I refuse to do it, s**t hits the fan, rinse and repeat.

I don't know. This has happened so many times that it'd be best if I just left, after this last incident I very much doubt things will go back to normal as they have before. With the added risk of going to jail, well, the cons outweigh the pros at this point. I'll consult a counselor tomorrow and see if things can get figured out. Thank you all for the help.

ACH0225 · Post by **ACH0225** » Mon Feb 04, 2013 4:55 pm

Ah. Well nevermind then. Maybe you can try and hide the computer when not in use, if you think that would work, but it could also backfire quite spectacularly. Or you could also restrict your Internet-ing to hours when she is asleep and buy headphones an get lvl 100 computer sneak. Or you could set up a hidden camera to show the abuse in case you go to jail. Don't know. Just throwing ideas out here.

Keon · Post by **Keon** » Mon Feb 04, 2013 5:01 pm

Priorities:

1: Life (Don't commit suicide)
2: Liberty (Don't go to jail)
3: Pursuit of happiness (All other things)
Aprox. 40: Hosting this forum. Don't worry about it. If the money is a problem, we can work it out, even if it means Forumotion.

I would say really try to be nice, the last thing you want is to leave on a bad note. Also, get a camera or something.

Honestly, see somebody and get some help. You shouldn't face this alone. Please. Tiel, you are (From what I know of you, so let's assume that's actually you) a great person. I don't know what I can do, but please, if you need any help ever, ask me.

Tunnelthunder · Post by **Tunnelthunder** » Mon Feb 04, 2013 5:27 pm

I have dealt with this kind of mindset recently and while I have no clue what it is like to have a bad parent I do know what it is like to feel trapped, and the best thing for you to do is reach out for help. So, talking to someone, even the people of the internet, can help with the pain, but the only way for you to stop it is to figure out a new way I don't think I can help, but I hope you can figure out how to solve this with out anyone being harmed in any manner.
So, good luck and stay strong. I hope you can get through this better then I did.

Post by **Prototype** » Mon Feb 04, 2013 5:33 pm

Another little bit of advice, if ever a confrontation arises like the one you've described or the potential for one arises, back off immediately, you've seen what that does when it happens on the forum, where it creates a shitstorm that could have been prevented, same principle IRL, now you may not like me telling you that you shouldn't stand your ground, but it could take some of the heat off you until you find a better solution. Such as thing is not easy, but you know by now that there isn't exactly an easy way to fix things, only options with better outcomes.

Apart from that, hope you sort this out, and I'm sure you will.

And a professional opinion could do a world of good, for everyone involved, I forgot about that in my earlier post for such a thing was not a option for my (friends) situation, these people deal with this every day, and they know their stuff.

Professor Fenway · Post by **Professor Fenway** » Mon Feb 04, 2013 5:44 pm

Have you considered that she maybe under a lot of stress? A single parent with multiple siblings, one who is on the computer all the time, the others destructive. Since you may not be helping, she blames it on you and blows up.

Instead of waiting for her to tell you to do something, look around the house. Find something you can do to help. It's much easier when you take the initiative and do it before she asks. Try to make her see that you're doing things without her help.

I know this advice may not help. If you're willing, I can send you the book I mentioned earlier. It has MUCH better advice than what I can offer, and it can improve anything as well. This isn't an advertisement, I actually read it and it helped my problems with my parents (I used to get yelled at for the same exact thing).

Good luck, and may the law be with you.

Dr. Mackeroth · Post by **Dr. Mackeroth** » Tue Feb 05, 2013 5:09 am

I just realized you started off the OP with: "I don't mean to bother you with my menial problems...". I might have said this already (I think I did, actually), but problems like this are not menial, and trivializing them will only serve to worsen the problem, as you will not consider it important to get help.

I think there is only one good quote in the whole Harry Potter series, but I think it applies here: "Soon, we must make the choice between what is right, and what is easy". What is easy is hiding: on your computer, in the corner of the class. What is right is solving the problem: finding support, getting help, getting people to realize the abuse your taking.

Actually, how is it that you came to be paying for the forum? It's my mod, I should be the one providing the money, not you. That's just laziness on my part.

cats · Post by **cats** » Tue Feb 05, 2013 5:51 am

You could try turning your pain into art

Iv121 · Post by **Iv121** » Tue Feb 05, 2013 6:52 am

I think that looking at the results will only worsen his mood ...

Keon · Post by **Keon** » Tue Feb 05, 2013 8:56 am

har har cats, har har.

Post by **Error** » Tue Feb 05, 2013 10:46 am

Not funny, cats. If you were being serious, I second Iv's statement.

And I would suggest, if reconciliation is difficult (nigh impossible), see if there's a way for you to get away. If you have no means to move out, just try to avoid you mother (and possibly siblings, they never help) as much as possible. I think the stress level on both sides is contributing to the problem.

cats · Post by **cats** » Wed Feb 06, 2013 5:31 pm

I was being half serious, but expression via writing or the visual or musical arts is a good way to examine and stabilize one's emotional state. It's helped me many a time.

Chairman_Tiel · Post by **Chairman_Tiel** » Wed Feb 06, 2013 7:18 pm

You revived the thread

Once again, thanks everyone for the support. I'm really optimistic about the situation in my mom's house right now, and even if that boils over my dad isn't as opposed to me as I initially feared.

blockman42 · Post by **blockman42** » Wed Feb 06, 2013 11:53 pm

Yay, some sort of progress!

Post by **Prototype** » Thu Feb 07, 2013 9:52 am

That's good to hear, I seriously hope you can sort this out

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