This man should not be placed in charge of earths defence

Crash Override · Post by **Crash Override** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 4:06 pm

Ivan2006 wrote:surface-to-space ICBMs start being viable the second we solve the problem that its EMP disables all advanced equipment withing a 500+km radius.

What about spear-like things?

We could use the missiles as Harpoons

Shadowcatbot · Post by **Shadowcatbot** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 5:28 pm

"Captain preparing to lan-" THUNK "Oh god! Their pulling us in! Shit shit shit!"

And that's how humanity gathers alien tech.

Post by **Error** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 6:02 pm

Bomb-pumped X-Ray Laser: blow up a nuke and direct the resulting radiation burst at hue bad guys. Watch hulls melt. Board, shoot baddies, collect reamins and wreck, reverse-engineer, humanity becomes starfaring in six months, and then scares the living shit out of errybody for a while.

Professor Fenway · Post by **Professor Fenway** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 11:41 pm

What if... what if all other empires discovered FTL tech at our equivalent of the colonial age?

And then one of them invaded us?

Ivan2006 · Post by **Ivan2006** » Wed Dec 10, 2014 7:07 am

"Those backwater humans don't even have FTL, we'll beat them up easily!"
*sees tank*
"haha look they have weird carts"
*tank shoots*
"holy fucking shit, RETREAT"

Archduke Daynel, PhD · Post by **Archduke Daynel, PhD** » Wed Dec 10, 2014 7:52 am

"So get this, humans can barely even go into space, but they have light that can literally melt metal. Petition to stay the fuck away?"

Professor Fenway · Post by **Professor Fenway** » Wed Dec 10, 2014 10:10 am

Except by them landing, and us wrecking them, we get their FTL technology.

What now?

Archduke Daynel, PhD · Post by **Archduke Daynel, PhD** » Wed Dec 10, 2014 10:28 am

That's when we start colonizing the galaxy using a technique called Humanity Fuck Yeah.
Because saying put-flags-on-every-single-planet-or-other-space-object-and-"civilize"-all-intelligent-species-who-live-there-by-the-clever-use-of-lazors-and-missiles takes way too long to say and doesn't even have a cool acronym.

Post by **Error** » Wed Dec 10, 2014 11:06 am

@Fen ever read the short story 'The Road Not Taken'?

Short version: muskets-and-wood ships aliens arrive, land in L.A., open fire with many a flourish, gwt totally laid out by the infantry, armour, and aircraft of 2015.

And the last scene of the book; both alien commanders realize they gave FTL drives to the (by their standards) hyper-advanced humans.

"What have we done?"

Ivan2006 · Post by **Ivan2006** » Wed Dec 10, 2014 11:09 am

"I wonder what happened to that colony fleet we sent to that place called 'Earth'... We haven't heard form them in five years."
*Human counter-colonization fleet warps in*
On human flagship: "We shall bring them extensive freedom!"

@Error I must read that

Post by **Error** » Wed Dec 10, 2014 11:11 am

Should be able to find a copy via Google search or something - 'The Road Not Taken', by Harry Turtledove (yes, that's his name).

Ivan2006 · Post by **Ivan2006** » Wed Dec 10, 2014 11:46 am

I have read it. Poor Roxalani.

ACH0225 · Post by **ACH0225** » Wed Dec 10, 2014 12:16 pm

http://pastebin.com/aJQfubrK

Only maybe legal

Archduke Daynel, PhD · Post by **Archduke Daynel, PhD** » Wed Dec 10, 2014 1:20 pm

That was actually a very good read, raises several philosophical questions and what not.
If you want more stories about humans being way better than aliens I suggest you google "Humanity Fuck Yeah".

Professor Fenway · Post by **Professor Fenway** » Wed Dec 10, 2014 3:47 pm

It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. I don't know why, but it does.

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