Something a fellow Bernd wrote, parodying another article(I had a racist in my bed):
It Happened To Me: I Was In Bed With A Heretic
Spoiler:
"He messaged me - I remember that clearly - a very confused few lines about how he thought I was perfect but that he was feeling too apathetic about the Trinity to have anything to do with women. It wasn’t the kind of message that deserved to be dignified with a reply. And yet, reply is exactly what I did. I had been stalking his profile for the previous half hour or so; he seemed interesting and funny, was cute, and a massive pothead to boot. Surely he didn’t quite mean what he’d said in his message? He sounded so nice!"
"All my life, I’ve followed a pattern of getting into super intense relationships super fast and this was no different. I ignored it when he said that he was pathologically incapable of thinking about the future, when a long term relationship was what I wanted, and while I attempted to educate him when he made some pro-witchcraft remarks, I mostly overlooked them. I was infatuated and I would have forgiven him for murder. For 6 days we IMed and texted, and on the 7th day, he drove down from Newcastle to York to meet me."
"It was strange. I was suddenly aware of the silence of the night outside my window, my heartbeat, the greenness of his eyes. He didn’t say anything and took one of my nipples in his mouth. A few seconds later he mumbled that he liked them. I had been straddling his hips all this time, and I moved away and lay next to him. He started stroking my hand. Then it came out. “This is different, isn’t it?” “God I never thought this would be an issue.” “I sound like such an asshole.” “Your hair isn't black, and your skin and your body – it’s different, and the way you smell.” “I never thought I would have an issue with it, but now I realise that I have only dated witches.” “I’m really freaked out that you're not a heretic."
Re: CMA's shitposting thread
Posted: Mon May 05, 2014 8:40 pm
by Tau
I tried reading through feminist websites a while ago expecting to laugh, but I just wound up getting too tick off to function.
Re: CMA's shitposting thread
Posted: Mon May 05, 2014 10:06 pm
by CMA
Tau wrote:I tried reading through feminist websites a while ago expecting to laugh, but I just wound up getting too tick off to function.
Meh, I find fallacies hilarious.
Re: CMA's shitposting thread
Posted: Tue May 06, 2014 3:52 am
by Ivan2006
The first one reminded me of tumblr.
The second one I only had to read the title to know it was bullshit.
Re: CMA's shitposting thread
Posted: Tue May 06, 2014 5:59 pm
by CMA
Ok, apparently there's a good chance I'm related to the Patriarch of the Maronites, he looks a bit like me and has the same name as my great-great-grandfather.
Re: CMA's shitposting thread
Posted: Tue May 06, 2014 6:57 pm
by CMA
This is an incredibly sad song, why does the world hate the Celts?
Edit: Holy shit
Wikipedia wrote:
...Skibbereen was established near the 14th-century ruins of the medieval hamlet of 'Spá Elaíne', long after the scourge of the black death (circa 1350) decimated the region. In 1631 it received an influx of refugees fleeing from the Sack of Baltimore. The Phoenix Society was founded in Skibbereen in 1856 a precursor to the Fenian movement.
Famine
500 years after the Black Death, once again the region was plagued with terrible famine in the years 1845-52, a time referred to as 'an Gorta Mór' (The Great Hunger). It is probable that some 8,000-10,000 victims of 'The Great Famine' are buried in the Famine Burial Pits of Abbeystrewery Cemetery.
Skibbereen is also the name of a song about the Famine, and the impact it and the British Government had on the people of Ireland. The song, known as Dear Old Skibbereen, takes the form of a conversation between a father and a son, in which the son asks his father why he fled the land he loved so well. The father relates to his son how the famine ruined his farm in Skibbereen, and killed his wife. As the man was unable to pay taxes,
...the landlord and the bailiff came to drive us all away.
They set the roof on fire with their cursed English flame,
And that's another reason why I left old Skibbereen.
In the final verse the son swears he will return to Skibbereen to take vengeance on the government that he holds accountable. A version can be found on the soundtrack to the PBS mini-series, "The Long Journey Home," performed by Sinéad O'Connor. In the film Michael Collins, Michael Collins, played by Liam Neeson, sings the song. There are also versions by The Dubliners and the Wolfe Tones.
The Irish just don't seem to have much going for them.
Re: CMA's shitposting thread
Posted: Fri May 09, 2014 1:00 pm
by CMA
industrial is to electronic as metal is to rock, it seems.
Re: CMA's shitposting thread
Posted: Fri May 09, 2014 1:04 pm
by Saravanth
Captain Obvious wrote:industrial is to electronic as metal is to rock, it seems.
Appears that way, captain.
Re: CMA's shitposting thread
Posted: Fri May 09, 2014 3:50 pm
by CMA
Saravanth wrote:
Captain Obvious wrote:industrial is to electronic as metal is to rock, it seems.
Appears that way, captain.
Go clean the poop deck, cabin boy.
My new favorite equation:
Re: CMA's shitposting thread
Posted: Fri May 09, 2014 4:40 pm
by Saravanth
Captain Obvious wrote:
Saravanth wrote:
Captain Obvious wrote:industrial is to electronic as metal is to rock, it seems.
Appears that way, captain.
Go clean the poop deck, cabin boy.
Not now, I'm busy, yo.
Captain Obvious wrote:
My new favorite equation:
What does it do?
Re: CMA's shitposting thread
Posted: Fri May 09, 2014 4:44 pm
by Archduke Daynel, PhD
It does math things
Re: CMA's shitposting thread
Posted: Fri May 09, 2014 4:46 pm
by CMA
Saravanth wrote:
Captain Obvious wrote:
Saravanth wrote:
Appears that way, captain.
Go clean the poop deck, cabin boy.
Not now, I'm busy, yo.
Captain Obvious wrote:
My new favorite equation:
What does it do?
Defines an open ball. I.e., a circle(sphere?) without it's "skin."
Re: CMA's shitposting thread
Posted: Fri May 09, 2014 4:58 pm
by Saravanth
I am a li'l tired, so I have troubles imaginizing that. Explain it furter.
Re: CMA's shitposting thread
Posted: Fri May 09, 2014 5:00 pm
by CMA
Saravanth wrote:I am a li'l tired, so I have troubles imaginizing that. Explain it furter.
Ok, you know how a line is one dimensional? And numbers can be described on a line? It's the 2D version of saying x < y < z, basically the 'inside' of a circle.
