Story Time with Error, Daynel, and CatsvsNinjas

Post by **Error** » Mon Mar 31, 2014 9:45 am

Feel free to not sit on my lap. A combination of insomnia, tea, a comment, and a lack of story-ized FC canon brought me to the decision, I should write a story.

So I did. I have about 6 short chapters, and I'm starting this off immediately before the Imperium War. Expect a chapter or two later today.

Spoiler:

Chapter One

Spoiler:

Chapter Two - Lectured

Spoiler:

Chapter 3 - Andromeda

Spoiler:

Chapter Four - Diminutive

Spoiler:

Chairman_Tiel · Post by **Chairman_Tiel** » Wed May 07, 2014 9:34 pm

I want more.

Luna · Post by **Luna** » Wed May 07, 2014 10:19 pm

Good start.

Chairman_Tiel · Post by **Chairman_Tiel** » Wed May 07, 2014 10:22 pm

I read it again.

Ivan2006 · Post by **Ivan2006** » Thu May 08, 2014 2:37 am

Very good.

Post by **Error** » Thu May 08, 2014 2:56 pm

New chapter.

Constructive cricism would be appreciated.

FYI, the story will cover from just after the Imperium war to just before [Literal Spoiler].

Luna · Post by **Luna** » Thu May 08, 2014 9:53 pm

Since everyone is posting their own stories and such, I think I will post one of my works. It's just a little something I wrote up based on this image.

Spoiler:

Title?

Humans, we are finally a star bound species and what’s the first thing we do when we find sentient life? We make them slaves of course. At least some of them, our attempted capture of their entire race didn’t go very well. They had a much stronger defense than expected. But our greedy human hands managed to abduct around five thousand. Many are being cloned while others are just sold into slavery right then and there. But these weren’t slaves for working. With our level of technology we had robots doing everything. Robots managed just about any busy work there was. Sadly most of the captured were females all destined to be helpless sex toys to whatever cruel pervert bought them. You would think that people would be in their right minds and object to this practice of slavery, and they do. Human slavery has been banned planet wide yet somehow another species with the same mental capability is put on a lower shelf than us. I’m guessing it’s our slow acting government. This problem is likely at the very bottom of a long list they are going through.

I woke up to the blaring of my alarm clock and a not very sunny bedroom. I threw the covers away and sat on the side of the bed.
“Athena, Alarm off,” I shouted.
“Please get out of bed,” the system retorted back.
“I’m out of bed! Athena, Alarm off,” I tried again.
“Please get out of bed,” it said in that calm female voice.
“I hate you so much Athena!” I finally stood up.
“Unknown command. Would you like to register that as an alias for another command?” it questioned.
“No Athena,” I was done talking to that stupid home interface. I walked over to the closet and got myself dressed. As I walked into the kitchen she came back.
“What would you like for breakfast sir?”
“Eggs and bacon as always Athena,” I sat down glumly at the table while the eggs and bacon cooked. As I was waiting I started looking out my few windows. The sky was completely blocked by a thick layer of dark grey clouds. Rain was never much of an issue for most people because we never had to go outside. There were walkways between each building covered by glass. The city has no public transit or automated people movers. If it did most wouldn’t get their required exercise. We have to climb stair ourselves and walk any paths.
“Your food is ready sir,” Athena stated and directed my attention to a plate of bacon and eggs rising up from the center of the table. I reached pulling the plate and a fork to myself. I sat there eating, watching raindrops starting to hit the window. They seemed to grow larger and louder. Soon the rain was pounding on the glass and the noise roared like a waterfall. As I finished eating the last strip of bacon a bolt of lightning struck the rod on top of an adjacent building. Soon after the thunderous boom echoed throughout the city. I jumped a little and nearly dropped my last piece of bacon.
“Athena, weather report for the next seven days,” I commanded looking out the window in awe. She gave no verbal reply but a hologram appeared on the window. It is going to be raining like this for the next week. I groaned and walked out the door beginning my walk to work.

My line of work was making robots to assist in various professions, all the way from garbage collecting to starship piloting. Right now we’re working on a model to assist in disaster response. But as I was walking along the halls of my building I noticed something strange through the door windows. There was a large amount of people all clustered around a podium. A man in a white button down looked over the crowd with a smug expression. I had never seen an auction before, I decided I would go in and see for myself. Even though I had no intention of buying I still wanted to know what kind of prices they were being sold for. There weren’t many people, only about fifteen. Many of them didn’t look too different from the average citizen. All males no features stuck out, none of them looked like sadistic psycho killers, none looked like they even had the cold heart to own a slave.
“Could everybody please get settled we are taking bids shortly,” the man on the podium spoke. He had a very snooty and high-class sounding voice. He had short brown hair that molded into a perfect dome shape on his head. “Alright everyone we are bringing the item up please look and judge your first bids,” he gave a charismatic smile to the crowd. “The item”, that stuck in my head and made my heart sink. Not “her” but “the item”. They don’t even think she’s worth that. Soon she stepped up onto the podium being led by another man. There was a display board on the glass behind her. It read
“Pony auction! Rare object! Waiting for first bids!
Species: Pegasus
Gender: Female
Age: Average
Weight: Light
Eager and Loyal working slave”
I’m not sure what made her a “Rare object” but what disturbed me even more is that there were no specific numbers for her Age and Weight. What does “Average” weight even mean? What is average for that species? Just as important what is considered a lightweight? What’s more is she doesn’t have a name. I gave her a good long look. Her fur was lavender; her mane and tale were purple and pink. What really caught my attention were her stunningly red eyes. Is this albinos look like? Maybe that’s what made her rare. I stopped staring and remember where I was. Numbers started ringing around the room.
“100 credits,” was the first thing I heard. One hundred credits, for a living thinking being?
“300 credits.” Better but still not great.
“700 credits,” another person shouted. I looked back at her and my heart sank. There was few tears running down her face.
“1000 credits,” something inside me broke.
“2000 credits!” I shouted. I instantly had doubts about my decision.
“Ooh, a high roller,” the man on the podium spoke. “Any other bids?” We waited but no one responded. “And sold to the gentleman in the white lab coat,” he pointed at me. Now being the completely logical person that I am, my first thought was “Crap that’s my months salary”. Not “ I just bought a slave”.
“Come up here sir,” the man on the podium motioned for me to walk up. I walked up to the stage. I got a closer look at the poor girl that was now mine. She had straps wrapped around her muzzle so she couldn’t speak. Her wings were also tied to her body, I’m guessing so she wouldn’t fly away. I stared at her for a while and she caught my gaze. Her large red eyes were filled with tears that overflowed onto her face. She wasn’t very tall. The top of her head reached just bellow my belly button. I wasn’t sure if this was normal or maybe she was on the tall side.
“So what’s your name?” I didn’t answer, I just stared transfixed by her. “Uhh so here you go,” the man untied her from the podium and handed the leash to me.
“What?” I stared at his hand surprised.
“She’s yours now, take her,” he thrust his hand towards me.
“I...” I stuttered taking the leash. “I still have to go to work, can I send her to my house or something?”
“Nope, you bought her, she’s yours now,” the man smiled and pointed at a retinal scanner, probably for payment. By now all the people have left so they didn’t get to see my awkward conversation with him.
“Right, my co works will think so highly of me,” I put my eye in front of the scanner. Once it gave the confirmation sound I stepped off the podium, my new slave following. We walked back into the hall and started walking to work.

As I was walking I pulled a stupid. “So what’s your name?” I looked down at her and instantly recognized my mistake. “I’m so sorry that must have seen like a cruel joke,” I bent down and took her muzzle off. “So uhh, your name?” I asked again. She opened her mouth to speak but stopped. “Hey don’t worry, I’m going to hurt you or treat you harshly.”
She tried again. “Dusk Flame,” she said shakily.
“Dusk Flame huh? Can… Can I call you Dusk?” I smiled at her. She nodded without speaking. “You know you can talk whenever you want now. I’m guessing your previous…” I stumbled for a better word “employer didn’t let you speak a lot.” She shook her head and a tear rolled down from her eye. She was probably remembering what happened when she last spoke without permission. “Do you want me to undo your wing straps as well?” She nodded again. I thought a bit. “Could you use words please? I want you to get used to speaking again.” She hesitated.
“Yes I would like that,” as she spoke I could see her body tense up ready as if readying for someone to hit her.
“I’m not going to hurt you, now hold still while I take the straps off,” I started tugging at them but they wouldn’t come undone. “Uhh they aren’t coming off. Let me try the collar,” I tried removing the collar but that wouldn’t budge either. “Ok I guess we have to wait till we get home,” I said to her disappointed. “I’m sorry Dusk,” I glanced at my watch. “Come on lets go, I’m actually running late, you can run right?” She nodded again. “Ok we will work on the talking part later, right now we need to get to work,” I started running glancing to my side to make sure she was still with me. “You’re a good runner,” I said through my panting breaths.
“Thank you,” I could barely hear her voice over the sound of her hooves hitting the floor. But at least she spoke, It’s going to take her a long time to get used to speaking without being told to.

We slowed down in front of an unassuming door. Like all the others it had a retinal scanner and a small glass window peering into the room it lead to. I put my eye to it and the door unlocked.
“Alright follow me,” I held the door open for Dusk.
“You’re late, and guests aren’t allowed on the property, well I guess she is property but she’s not allowed,” a scolding voice spoke.
“Good morning Joe, stay out of my business” I said.
“Of all the people I never thought you would buy a sex slave,” Joe crossed his arms and looked at Dusk.
“Why don’t you shut up, legally yes she is property, she is a slave, but she isn’t to me. I am not treating her like one, as you can see she isn’t wearing a muzzle!” I got angry and yelled at Jane.
“Yeah but she’s still wearing a collar and wing straps,” He continued to give his disapproving look.
“Yeah I was getting to that. I can’t remove them by hand; I need tools from the lab to help remove them,” I stared back at her.
“Well we don’t really have anything for that.”
“Are you kidding me? We have a ship that can travel faster than light but we don’t have a device to cut metal bands?”
“Try some bolt cutters, also you need to get to the lab, they need some help with the latest model,” his scathing stare never left me. Dusk was completely silent. She stood in place looking around the room.
“Right, Dusk I don’t want you to ever leave my side. As long as we are here stay right next to me or behind me unless I say otherwise. Now lets find a way to get those bands off,” I led her to a room with an assortment of varying tools. The plasma cutter caught my eye but there was too much risk of burning her. Joe was probably right to go with the bolt cutters. I grabbed them off the wall and turned to Dusk.
“I need you to be perfectly still, in fact you should sit down,” she obeyed staring at me with her brilliant red eyes. I kneeled down place the jaw of the cutters on the collar. “You ready?” she gave a subtle nod. I held my breath and slammed the arms together. There was a large metallic snap and the collar clanged to the ground in two pieces. “Ok, we can put this in the scrap pile,” I picked up the pieces of metal and tossed them in a receptacle. The wing bands aren’t going to be easy. I can’t wedge anything between them and her. As I was thinking there was a knocking at the door and my boss walked in.
“Hey buddy, what’s going on?” she looked at me and then at dusk. “Really?” she said shocked. “Of all the people working here you are the last person I would think to buy a sex slave. And it’s none of my business but I’d like it if you leave her at home,” she said walking over to look at her.
“Hi Alex, I just got her actually, her name is Dusk. I never planned to buy her but I just felt horrible watching her being bid on like an antique. So I’m going to take care of her and let her live with me. Right now I’m trying to think of how to get the metal band off. Do you have any tools that can help?”
“I think those bolt cutters are the best think you got for it,” Alex made a scissoring motion with her fingers.
“Ok… Dusk I’m going to have to wedge this between your body and the metal. I’ll be as quick as possible but this will hurt,” I stared directly into her eyes.
“Ok,” she responded quietly. I opened the cutters and hastily wedged them in. She winced but didn’t make any noise. I slammed the cutters together again. There was the metallic snap and familiar clanking. When I looked up at Dusk her expression was one of shock. That shock quickly changed to joy, she was smiling.
“Thank you,” she said in her small voice. She hesitantly reached one of her legs around me. “Thank you,” she repeated, whispering it into my ear. I hugged her back.
“Ok now that you have fixed that problem could you please get to work?” Andy complained.
“Right sorry,” I motioned for Dusk to follow me.
“So the robot is coming along fine, we’re just having some problems with the human recognition system…” as Alex went on, I did my best to listen to her and at the same time see how Dusk was doing. Her smile disappeared and she was back to her speechless timid self. It was fine with me, its going to take a lot to get over what she’s been through. Removing her bonds was only the first step.

I put my eye to the scanner and a few seconds later it unlocked the door.
“Welcome home Dusk,” I said holding the door open for her. “So want dinner? You probably haven’t eaten since this morning. Athena, prepare dinner,” I shouted at the system.
“What would you like?” the machine asked.
“Surprise me,” I said. I looked down at Dusk who was waiting patiently beside me. “You can walk around on your own, your home now, this is your place as much as it is mine,” I walked over to the couch and turned on the TV. Dusk started investigating the many rooms all the while being quieter than a mouse. As she walked back into the lounge Athena spoke up.
“Dinner is ready,” I heard the table open up and produce two plates of food. I walked over and took a seat. Dusk followed and hopped onto the chair across from me. When she starred at her food I realized a couple problems. First of all Dusk was probably a vegetarian. She was an equine of course; second I didn’t know how she would use the utensils. Athena had made us a chicken dish. There were some vegetables mixed in so I could pick the chicken out and have her eat the rest.
“I’m sorry,” I got up and walked over to her. I grabbed her plate and started moving the pieces of chicken to my plate. “Uh, how do you normally eat? Like before you came here,” I had gotten all the chicken off her plate and onto mine. When I looked over at her she had an expression of pain and sadness.
“He… he made me eat off the floor,” she hung her head a little as if trying to hide her face.
“No, before that, when you were home, your real home. Did you use utensils or did you just eat right off the plate. Did you use some other way?” she just hung her head and didn’t speak. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you remember that,” I reached out and stroked her back. “We’ll figure the food thing out later, right now I can just feed you by hand I guess,” I wasn’t sure how well she’d take to the idea. She looked up at me but still said nothing. “Please, I need you to eat,” I stared into her eyes. This time she gave a soft nod. I grabbed a fork and stabbed some vegetables.
“Your eyes are absolutely beautiful,” I said holding the fork up to her mouth.
“Thank you,” she smiled shyly and ate the vegetables. I continued to feed her vegetables and compliments. I thought it would be good to boost her self-esteem. Her stay with her last “employer” was likely very demoralizing. As we were finishing up dinner I looked outside. It was still raining heavily and there were occasional flashes of lightning, soon followed by rolling thunder. We walked to the lounge and sat down on the couch.
"Want to watch a movie? I'm assuming you know what a movie is," she sat next to me, looking around the room waiting for something to happen.
"Yes I do, we have them back at home," she sighed and looked at the TV screen as it flipped on.
"You know what, once I learn how to pilot a space ship, we'll take you back home. But for right now you'll just live here with me," I started up a romantic comedy. I thought it would be perfect, a funny movie to get her laughing and feeling good. As the movie went on she started laughing at the jokes and smiling at any romantic parts. By the end of the movie it looked like she was getting tired. She slumped over on my shoulder and her eyes were slowly closing. Outside the thunder and rain continued.
"Hey," I said softly poking her. "Let's get you into bed, you seem tired," I looked over at the clock and saw it was 11:32. No wonder, it was late and she had probably been up early in the morning. She slowly got off the couch and followed me to my bedroom. She got onto the bed while I rummaged in the closet for extra blankets.
"What are you doing?" She said through a yawn.
"I'm getting some blankets and pillows so I can go sleep on the couch, I thought you might want a bed to yourself," I smiled to myself. That was the first question she had ever asked me. I saw her pull the covers over herself with her teeth. "You'll be fine alone I here right?" I looked at her snuggling in.
"Yeah," she gave me a lazy nod and closed her eyes.
"Goodnight Dusk," I started walking out of the room.
"Goodnight," I heard her reply as I left the room. I sat down on the couch and looked back at the day. When I woke up this morning I never would have thought I’d be saving someone from a life of slavery. I was feeling pretty good about myself; I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

I woke up hanging off the bed, which was weird cause I have a really large bed. Then I realized, this wasn’t a bed, I was on my lounge couch. I started to get up; it was still dark, still raining, and none of the lights were on. “Why was I on the couch?” I said to myself. Then I heard what sounded like crying. Then it all clicked back into place.
“Dusk?” I started walking towards my room. “Dusk what’s wrong?” she was sitting on the bed facing the window. Her tears were dripping onto the bed.
“Just a nightmare, I’ll be fine,” she tried to wipe away her tears with a leg.
“You don’t look fine,” I sat next to her. “How long have you been up?”
“Thirty minutes now,” I saw her glance over at the clock, which was the only source of light in the room. It was still very dark and I could barely make out her figure.
“Thirty minutes?” I said in a half shocked and half questioning voice. I put my arms around her and pulled her closer. “Tell me what happened,” I started stroking her mane. I knew it hadn’t been washed in a while but somehow it remained soft and untangled.
“I… I was back home, I was out on the balcony looking at the night sky. That’s when they came,” Dusk let her weight fall on me. I had a feeling this was the story of how she got here. “They took me up to the flying ships and locked me up. And I ended up back with that horrible man,” tear stared rolling down her cheeks again.
“Shhh, it’s alright, I get it. Hey remember, you’re here with me now. I promise I won’t let anything like that happen to you again,” as I finished she looked up at me with her shining red eyes. “Want me to stay with you during the night? I promise I’ll stay on my half of the bed,” I smiled at her.
She hesitated for a moment but then smiled back. “Please do,” she pressed into me. I moved around and slid under the covers. She did the same but instead of keeping to one side she pressed up against me again.
“Goodnight Dusk.”
“Goodnight.”

Post by **Tau** » Thu May 08, 2014 9:56 pm

Luna wrote:-schnip-

I meant to ask you if you planned on continuing this.

Anyway, I thought it was pretty alright. (Quite the compliment from me.) But hey, I'm certainly no connoisseur of fine fiction, so don't take my word for it.

ACH0225 · Post by **ACH0225** » Fri May 09, 2014 5:33 am

My biggest problem is that it is brony fanfic and I didn't read past the first mention of ponies.

Post by **Error** » Fri May 09, 2014 9:36 am

Okat, a few things.

Plot aside, every time a new character speaks, or you go from A talking to B talking, new paragraph. It makes it SO much easier to read.

Secondly, double space between paragraphs. As in:

Person X is talking, saying something about humans being total bastards and thinking about fighting them.

Person Y chimes in to agree and say fighting humans is pointless.

/Again, easier to read.

Iv121 · Post by **Iv121** » Fri May 09, 2014 9:43 am

In other words spam enter, it helps ...

In fact ppl say I spam enters and spaces too much in my code while in texts Im the total opposite.

Post by **Prototype** » Fri May 09, 2014 9:44 am

Spamming enter is the way forward.

Post by **Error** » Fri May 09, 2014 9:45 am

Also,

PUNCTUATION * DO YOU USE IT

_ahem_ sorry, S. L. Jackson'ed there a sec.

Archduke Daynel, PhD · Post by **Archduke Daynel, PhD** » Fri May 09, 2014 9:50 am

Since we got Error and Luna making stories, and I like to do writing as well, I'll continue on the story I started on in the "Inside the [X]" thread.

Chapter 1:

Spoiler:

Chapter 2:

Spoiler:

Chapter 3 coming sometime soon.

All feedback, positive or negative, is appreciated.

Luna · Post by **Luna** » Fri May 09, 2014 10:00 am

Icelandic Perehelion wrote:Also,

PUNCTUATION * DO YOU USE IT

_ahem_ sorry, S. L. Jackson'ed there a sec.

No.

And yeah, I got lazy with formatting, I just copypasted it from a word document.

FC Forums

Story Time with Error, Daynel, and CatsvsNinjas

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Story time? Story time.

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