Story Reborn !

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How would you rate the latest chapter ?

 
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Re: Story Reborn !

Post by Iv121 » Tue Mar 19, 2013 1:45 am

Eh who edited the poll ? And for the votes I was talking about tht specific spoilered section below the story.
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Re: Story Reborn !

Post by Professor Fenway » Tue Mar 19, 2013 7:26 am

I did. It seemed that when you add new chapters, poll should be reset, because for some reason it won't let us change our votes.

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Re: Story Reborn !

Post by  ҉  » Tue Mar 19, 2013 11:38 am

CommanderKobialka wrote:
Last_Jedi_St&#x90;anding wrote:
Last_Jedi_Standing wrote:Look which option is winning.
With a whole two votes. The margin of error is way too large for the poll to mean anything. Something like that doesn't work well if you have less than a hundred people or so voting.
did you reply............ to yourself???
No. You just haven't figured out yet that after the account duplication trick the forum corrects Tiel Attentus to Last_Jedi_Standing, and Tiel hasn't changed it. I posted about this in that thread.
;.'.;'::.;:".":;",,;':",;

(Kzinti script, as best as can be displayed in Human characters, translated roughly as "For the Patriarchy!")

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Re: Story Reborn !

Post by Iv121 » Fri Mar 22, 2013 11:07 am

Chapter 17 – The chase
Spoiler:


The first rays of the dawn lit the city of Highwind, awakening those who still slept in their warm beds. Kail went down from the guardian tower. Lightwing began to feel better after the fight and Kail will probably leave soon. In the meantime he could spend some time in the streets of Highwind, thinking about the journey ahead. His thoughts drifted to the dreams he had recently. He went to the training yard to see how Liana does with her new sceptre. Liana was standing in the middle of the square, practicing , when she noticed Kail “Hey, come to see some new tricks that I’ve learned” she said and quickly went into the air as lightly as a feather. “Oh yea …” said Kail “something is wrong ?” she asked and quickly landed near Kail “No , I’m just bothered with some … dreams, visions I had ever since I came to the city” “What visions ?” “It’s a dark room, covered in glyphs, old room. In the middle of it I could see a glow, but never quite what it was, then it all becomes dark again, my body shakes and boils, I stop breathing, all I want is to leave that room, leave that dream, and then I awake in my bed, with the shard glowing in my hand” “You never quite told us what is that stone and what are you doing here” “Well, it is an old artefact created by our ancestors a long time ago. This shard is part of it and I need to collect all parts of the shard. “ “Yes but why ? “ “I … I don’t know, I only know the words my master said when he gave me the task … why couldn’t he be clearer and make it all so complicated …” “Maybe you should go to Crazy Eniry, I heard she knows how to read dreams” “Where does she live ?” “On a mountain to the west of Highwind” “Maybe I should, we will see once Lightwing recovers”

==>

The morning rays of light lit a large map on the table in the middle of the room. The door opened and Elian entered the room “You called me father ?” “Yes, sit down” said the high councillor. “I just received a letter from the high Lumian council . They … are not convinced we can win this war, even with the help of the Odelians. I’ve told them that we can win but they won’t listen. The vote currently stands on 6 to 6 . High councillor Elniron believes we should surrender while I say we should fight. If we won’t convince the council that we can win the Neferonians will come and destroy our homes. “ “Yes father, but how can I help ?” “I need Kail, I need him and his dragon and his magic. He could singlehandedly destroy 4 Neferonian battleships, moreover he inspires and boosts morale, he is the trading card we need to convince the council. I need you to bring him to us, convince him to help us. Go with him and help him out, then bring him to the council as soon as possible, I trust you will do this to the letter. The Neferonians are assembling and as soon as they have enough resources left over from the battle with the Odelians they will bring their whole might on us. By the last sunset of the summer he must be at the council, at any cost”

“Are you leaving tomorrow ?” asked Liana “I guess so, Lightwing feels much better and he can fly already. He is not fully recovered but I should get going as soon as possible” “Wish I could come with you, to see the world and go to a big adventure like that. My brother and father won’t let me go, they will stand there and complain how young I am and how dangerous it is and how we should take care of home and Highwind instead of going to who knows where … oh here he is. You’re not going to let me go with Kail right Elian ?” Elian looked confused at Liana “To go where ?” “To his adventures around the world !” “Oh are you going already ?” “Tomorrow I think “ said Kail “Alright I’m packing and meeting you tomorrow, maybe you also want to tell you’re going to our father”. Liana looked shocked at Elian “You … didn’t say that, did you ?” “What ? Are you waiting till I change my mind ? Go pack your things.”

==>

Kail entered his room. The few things he brought with him were already packed in his bag. “Today is our last night in Highwind, did you like the city Twinkle ?” Twinkle chirped with acknowledgment “It’s a quiet and beautiful place” he set down on the bed. Although he was tired Kail couldn’t fall asleep. He took off the shard and put it on the table near the bed. He was afraid of those dreams he had. He didn’t want to see or feel them again. Eventually the body claimed what it needed and Kail fell asleep. The night passed quietly and Kail could rest before his journey continues.

The following morning Kail cleaned the room after himself and took his bag “let’s go Twinkle”. On the top of the guardian tower Elian and Liana were already waiting for Kail together with the high councillor. “We .. took the liberty of equipping your dragon with a saddle” said the high councillor and called the keepers to bring the dragon. Lightwing was rested and looked much better after his time in the Windhawk cages. The saddle was more of a large platform covered in hide with bags hanging off it. It was rather large but set well on Lightwing. “The bags are filled with food for your journey. Here is some money for your way too” the High Councillor took out a purse with golden coins in it. Kail went up on Lightwing. “Liana , take care of yourself” said the high councillor “Are you ready ?” asked Kail. Liana climbed up om the back of the dragon “And you Elian, you know what to do… and take care of Liana” “are you coming ?” said Liana. Elian began to climb the dragon “Thank you sir” said Kail “May the spirits of this world guide you” said the councillor as Lightwing took off the ground. He then watched how the dragon went higher and higher, disappearing in the horizon.

==>

“So where is that Crazy Eniry ?” asked Kail “She lives to the West, with Lightwing we’ll be there in no time” answered Liana. They kept flying for an hour. “Sir we can see them again !” “Give me the scope” said prince Telion pushing the scout aside. “Eh Kail ? we got trouble and it’s closing fast !” said Elian as the dark star appeared behind them. “I thought you blew it up” said Liana “Hey, seems like they fixed it” Elian pointed at a large area to the side of the ship, awkwardly covered in steel plates. “We see him again !” “Give me the scope” the ambassador pushed the scout aside “Yes it seems like the ship of our prince”. “C’mon Lightwing we need to get out of here” said Kail. “He’s escaping ! I can’t afford loosing him !” shouted the prince “More power to the core !”. “They are escaping ! I can’t afford loosing them !” shouted the ambassador “More power to the engines !” “Can you afford loosing another ship ? Our engines are at the limit” said the captain. The ambassador stopped to think for a second “You are right, we can’t catch them at this rate but sooner or later they will come to us, slow us down”. “They are slowing “ noted one of the scouts “Why are they doing it ? “ asked prince Telion “Because their ship is not as fast as ours or the dragon, he does however has the advantage in numbers and connections. He will know where we are from his men on the ground at any time and instead of going straight for us he will go around, waiting for us to come to him” the master replied “Humm, the small dragon will be able to pass through undetected but the large star will attract attention and give him information of the dragon’s location … Helm, bring us down, we will continue to fly at night, keep an eye on the dragon’s heading”. “The dark star, it’s slowing down” said Liana “why ?” “I don’t know, but it was close. From now on we will fly only at nights, so that they won’t see us” said Elian.

Kail began to scan the ground for a place to land. He noted a road below him and began to descend towards it. Within a few flaps the dragon was on the ground. “So are we going to sleep at days ?” asked Kail “We better split the night in two we will fly in the evening and for the night we’ll land to sleep, in the morning we’ll keep walking” said Elian. They began to walk by the road to the west.

==>

The dark star slowly landed on the ground. The peak of the lower spire lowered until it touched the ground. Four large chains were shot out of the sides of the ship anchoring it to the ground. “Ah we can actually enjoy the local wild life” noted the master “You can’t focus on anything” noted prince Telion “I will take a tour around, do you want to come with me ?” “No” “And if we’ll use this opportunity to scout the immediate area and maybe locate the dragon while enjoying the wild life ?” “Alright alright . Also deploy scouts in the area, be in the lookout of the dragon and the ambassador’s ship” they went into the transport chamber. They stepped in the platform and in a puff of black smoke reappeared below the ship. They kept walking forward “It’s quite different from home isn’t ?” noted the master. Prince Telion was walking forward with no interest toward the flora. “Over there, it’s a road” said Prince Telion as they approached the simple mud path “If I was those travellers I would take the road to ease up my travel” said the master. “You’re right, I bet we’ll find them ahead”.

Kail kept walking the mud road “Can I ask you something?” he turned towards Liana “Why did you come along with me ?” “I lived all my life in Highwind almost never leaving the city. I want to see the world, what lies behind the walls in those valleys I saw each day I went to sleep out of my window” “and you Elian ?”. Elian thought about his answer for a bit “Someone has to take care of Liana” “Take care of me ? You can’t take care of yourself !” “Yes I can !” “You don’t even know how to cook !” “I don’t need to know it’s something girls should know, I should know how to fight and command and protect you” Liana casted some wind in his direction “Aww !” Elian complained as the stream hit his face “I can take care of myself” she added.

==>

The sun slowly began to set down, disappearing in the tree-line in front of them. “Should we stop for a dinner ? “ asked Kail. Suddenly Twinkle jumped off his shoulder and began to fly around chirping nervously “What’s wrong Twinkle ?” asked Kail. They turned around to see the men in dark armor running towards them. Liana swung her sceptre to send an air blast towards the enemies. Prince Telion pushed one of the guards aside “You’re mine” . He charged forward and cast a black stream at Kail. He blocked with a force shield and prepared to cast an attack of his own. Suddenly Lightwing landed between them with a terrifying roar and flapped his wings to crate a massive force wave and push the intruders aside. “Get on the dragon !” Shouted Elian. They quickly climbed up and Lightwing took off. Prince Telion stood up on his feet, cleaning away the dust as the large shadow of the dark star appeared above him. In black cloud puff he appeared on the transport deck. “Go after them”.

Lightwing began to fly quickly towards the sun that almost disappeared in the horizon. “So dinner cancels …” said Elian looking back at the dark star rising from the ground. “Get us in the range of the dragon and fry it to hell !” commanded prince Telion “Stabilize the ship, get us higher” ordered the captain “Casters prepare”. “Kail behind us !” shouted Liana as the smaller spires of the dark star began to glow. The captain was carefully following the dragon “Shoot on my mark , FIRE !”. A dark stream of energy left the tips of the spires “Hold tight !” shouted Kail and the dragon began to dive. “FIRE !” ordered the captain again . The streams flew at Kail again, missing by only few feet. One of the streams hit a large tree that went up in flames right in front of them. Lightwing quickly dodged to the left. Another dark stream left the tips of the spires , passing in a screech by the dragon. “Hold on tight !” shouted Kail “We are already holding tight !” shouted Elian. Lightwing closed his wings, pressing them against the body and they began to fall. Kail concentrated all his energy in a large force field around Lightwing to help him in his. “Kail he won’t pass here !” shouted Liana. Lightwing began to manoeuvre in between the trees, keeping on the fly only with the force field. Kail’s hands shook s he tried to hold the massive creature in air. Lightwing passed like a rocket between the trees, almost hitting them on the way through. Elian looked down at the closing ground below them “We are going to crash !”. Lightwing got lower and lower, slightly touching the ground with his legs. Kail’s body shook crazily as his cloths were wet of sweat. Suddenly an open valley opened in front of them. Lightwing opened his wings and gave a powerful flap, sending them into the air again. “We did it !” shouted Liana “yea … barely . We are off for a good start …” added Elian.

“They disappeared in the forest” the captain reported to the prince, preparing to accept his anger “They disappeared, you gonna find them, every single one of them and bring them to me” said the prince. “Maybe we should slow down for a bit and lower the ship, we have already attracted too much attention” said the master. Telion was angry but knew he has no choice.

==>

Lightwing kept flying until they reached the forest on the other side of the valley. They prepared a simple camp. There was no time to gather food so they are what the brought with them . Kail was too tired to talk. He entered his bedroll, thinking of the journey ahead. He fell asleep almost instantly. Liana was quick to follow him. Only Elian remained sitting near the fire, thinking about the men in dark armor. He covered the remains of the flame, entered his bedroll and went to sleep.



The end of seventeenth chapter.
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Re: Story Reborn !

Post by Iv121 » Sat Mar 30, 2013 12:52 pm

Chapter 18 – Welcome to the In-Between Lands
Spoiler:


The light flickered on the walls of the cave. “… If you mistake us for head-hunters you better look elsewhere.” “You are running this area aren’t you ?” said the Neferonian ambassador “yes, we are …” “and so you know where everyone is. If you find them and bring them to me this will be your reward” one of the guards closed to them and opened a chest full of gold. “And what prevents me from just … taking it from you ?” asked the second man. Suddenly all guards and men in the cave drew their weapons “The fact there is a battleship hovering above your head. Bring them to me and I will reward you, but more importantly I will keep your location a secret”

Kail woke up first in the morning. Liana and Elian were still sleeping near Lightwing and Twinkle was sitting on him, chirping quietly, probably dreaming about some exotic fruits and berries. He set down on the grass and created a force field between his hands, absorbing the silence around him, looking at the rising sun.

“Well we are not dead so far so we can call this a good morning …” said Elian as he woke up. “Why can’t you stop whining for a day ?” said Liana as she rolled her sleeping bag “I’m not whining ! I just said we are alive that’s it !” “Anyway good morning Kail”. Kail was still sitting on the grass “Uh ? oh … yea good morning”. Elian was quickly folding his stuff “If we want to remain alive we better keep going”

The muddy road leading west was relatively straight. It kept going into the deeps of the lush forests ahead. “Are we in Neferon ?” wondered Kail “Of course not, we are Between Lumian, Odelian and Neferon which lies far to the west” answered Elian “So where are we ?” “In the In-Between Lands” “In-Between Lands ?” “Yes, they call themselves the land of free people but currently they are just part of the Neferonian Empire. It’s not a safe place to be in either. The roads and forests are filled with bandits and outlaws who escaped from all corners of the world.” “So there are bandits on this road ?” “Now that you say it this way I don’t know if we want to face them on the road or the crazy prince in the air …”

==>


The road slowly lead them west until they could see a village ahead. “We could by provisions there” said Elian “Wouldn’t there be Neferonian soldiers ?” “I don’t think so, usually they don’t care about the local villages , we can hide the dragon for good measure”. Lightwing surely didn’t like the idea of being apart from Kail “Don’t worry fellow we will be back soon, you and Twinkle should stay here” said Kail. Lightwing answered with a sad groan but remained sitting.

The Village was medium in size nor had anything unusual in it. The main square offered some merchants with provisions. “What brings you travellers to Greenwatch ?” asked the merchant “We’d like to buy some provisions” answered Kail “Yes I have some food on sale for you”. Liana stepped in asking all sorts of food from the merchant, from meat to vegetables, herbs and spices, what they needed and probably not, all quickly flowing into the bags which couldn’t take more food. “We just left Highwind !” complained Elian “You don’t know the next time we enter a settlement …” she answered “Yes I do ! I have a map on me !” she didn’t listen.

They were ready to pack the food and leave the village when suddenly they heard horses closing to the village. The villagers began to spread and hide. “What’s going on ?” they asked the merchant who was hiding behind the stall “hide, get down, you don’t want them to see you !” “Who ?” they crouched under the stall. The horses entered the village. On the horses set 12 men armed to the teeth with swords, axes and spears, “bandits !” whispered Elian. One of the men on the horses began to call in a loud voice “Where are you Old Radrich ?”. An old looking man appeared in their sight. He walked slowly towards the bandits with a small box in his hands “It’s time for your monthly payment, it’s not an easy task to protect you from harm and it becomes hard to resist the temptation !” the riding man added with laughter “Here , that is all money we have, now leave us alone !”. The man on the horse opened the box and looked inside “This ?! It’s barely enough to keep us from burning this square !” “You won’t find more money in the whole village now go away !” “really ? And if I search harder ?” the man closed to Old Radrich pointing his sword at his throat. Liana was ready to jump out of the stall but Elian held her tight “Let me go !”. “I feel generous today so I will trust your word but next month you better bring more” the men on the horses turned back and ran out of the village.

==>


The villagers slowly went back to their duties. Liana ran out towards the old man “wait !” shouted Elian “she is going to get us in trouble …”. “excuse me sir ?” the old man looked at Liama “yes young lady, you are not a local aren’t you ?” “Who were those people ?” she quickly asked “Bandits, this part of the forest is ran by them.” “Where are they hiding ?” the old man looked at her again, now with troubled expression “Why would you like to know ?” “I want to have a talk with that bastard !” .Kail and Elian closed to them “Liana snip out of it, there is nothing we can do in here” “We can’t just leave them like that !” “Yes we can …” answered Elian. Liana gave him a furious look “oh no no no no no, not this again …” said Elian “What this ? “ asked Kail “yes what this ?!” said Liana to which Elian preferred not to answer until she turned back to the old man “That fire in her eyes, she’s not going to leave it until she gets it done …”

“Where is that camp ?” she asked the old man again “I wouldn’t tell you even if I knew. This is not a place for you. You should pass this village and move on” “What is his name ? That bandit’s name ?” “His name is Estirnach and that is all I know about him” “thank you” she turned away and went back to Kail and Elian. “No don’t even start” said Elian “I didn’t ask you, I ask Kail” she looked at Kail “I … I don’t know. We have our own troubles, we can’t be heroes all the time …” “please “ Kail looked at her begging face “Alright, we better do this quick”. “So where could they set up a camp ?” Liana and Kail looked at Elian “What ? Now you ask me ?!” said Elian. He opened the map “there are mostly woods in this area. It will be hard to tell where their camp is … unless we follow the trail left behind the horses.” “so let’s follow them” said Liana.

==>

The trail went through the road they were about to take. “The trail ends here” said Kail as they reached what seemed to be the end of the trail “They probably went off the road, to the south I guess” said Elian after examining it closely. They kept going south. Suddenly they heard a speech, human voice. They closed to a bush and examined the area. Ahead of them set the same bandits that raided the village. The horses were sitting down on the ground nearby. “That’s their camp !” whispered Liana “Doesn’t seem like it. It looks like they just stopped for a rest” said Elian. “So what are we doing now ?” “We go to talk with this bastard !” said Liana and prepared her sceptre “Just go in like that ?” said Elian “You have better ideas ?” she replied “yes, to follow them. You won’t achieve anything if you just go in like that, the bandits will still be around. Let’s get out of here before they notice us” he began to back from the bush.

Though maybe walking back was a choice he regretted. Suddenly he slipped on a rock and fell on the ground. “Did you hear that ?” said one of the bandits. They began to close to the bush. Kail began to back off from the bush quicker and quicker. Suddenly the two bandits emerged out of the bush. “What’s tha …” he didn’t finish his words as a stream of air blew him away “they’ve seen us !” . The bandits quickly drew their weapons and ran towards them. Kail and Liana began casting magic pushing the bandits away “We should get out of here !” shouted Elian. “What’s going on !” shouted one of the bandits. It was the leader of the group. He quickly closed to the battle with a fire charge in his hands. “step aside” he shouted and began to spray the fire at them. Kail quickly backed off from the now scorched ground. The fire disappeared and the bandit could have a clear view of the attackers. Suddenly his face changed “It’s them ! catch them !”. He casted another fireball at Kail but he dodged aside. They began to run away. “hey Kail remember what I said about the bandits and the crazy prince ? I made my mind, call Lightwing !” “He is miles away ! How do you expect me to call him ?!” “like you did last time we almost got killed by some bandits !” ‘I didn’t !”. The bandits began to climb the horses and open a chase after them. Two horsemen closed to Kail. He threw a force wave at one knocking him off the horse but the other rider jumped off the horse on him, dropping Kail to the ground. Liana kept running until one of the horsemen dropped her to the ground. “Alright I surrender !” said Elian as a bunch of horsemen surrounded him.

==>


The bandits tied them and put on the horses. They began to ride south. “I know it’s not the best time but I’ve told you” said Elian “now we know where their base is” said Liana “yea like you planned that all ahead, hope you have a plan to escape”. The bandit camp was near a steep heal. The heal was surrounded by tents. In the middle of the hill was a small cave. “So how many are they ? 50, 60 people ?” said Elian. The horses stopped inside the camp. “Launch that flare” said the leader of the bandits. The bandits quickly lit up the fuse and a bright red flare went into the air, lighting the area around. “It’s a Neferonian flare” whispered Elian “We better get out of here before they come … c’mon Kail call Lightwing !” “How ? “ he replied. He began to think. Last time when he needed him Lightwing simply came to him. “If you hear me ,come save us” he thought in his mind, there was no much he could do.

“Sir a flare going off at 9 o’clock, 300 meters ahead, level “ said the observer. Prince Telion closed to the window and looked through the scope “yes, it is a flare … set course to it”

==>

“Oh that Neferonian ambassador offered a whole fortune for you” said the bandit leader “Who are you ?” asked Liana angrily “I’m Estirnach, the one and only one who runs this place” “Until the Neferonians come knocking ?” said Kail “You better bit your tongue before I cut it off. You are lucky the ambassador wants you alive” “looks like a camp” said prince Telion “bring us down nearby” “They look like a bandit camp my prince, they won’t take kindly to you wandering around” said the master “So we will come down in big force so they will think twice before attacking us”. The four large anchors were shot to the ground and the prince headed to the teleport chamber. He teleported down. In front of him already stood a formation of 30 soldiers “We are marching into that camp, do not attack unless I give an order” said the prince, wearing his helmet. “Ahead MARCH !” ordered the commander and the formation began to march towards the camp.

The bandits put Kail in the cave together with Elian and Liana. Estirnach was walking around in a good mood, probably thinking about his reward when suddenly one of the bandits ran in “To the east, soldiers marching towards us” “Are those the Neferonians ?” “No, they wear black armor” “prepare everyone ! Do not attack unless I give an order.”. Estirnach quickly grabbed his sword and ran outside. “Great now the crazy prince was the last thing we’re missing here” said Elian. Estirnach walked towards the end of the camp where the bandits were already waiting for him, observing the approaching soldiers. “Who are you and what do you want ?” asked Estirnach. “who are we is not important, we came to talk” “Talk ? about what ?” “I’m looking for some particular person.” “So did that ambassador so what ?” suddenly Estirnarch understood he might have said too much “Do you have them ? How much was the ambassador ready to pay ? I will pay you more” “Yes we have them, all three. I hope you have a box full of gold with you …”. Telion stared at him for a moment “My prince I don’t think we have such sum of money” whispered the master. “And what if I put the offer otherwise ? We won’t hurt you if you give them to us” the bandits and the soldiers began to draw theirs weapons. “You are outnumbered” said Estirnarch “But better equipped” replied Telion “We shall see about that” “I understand it as refusal?” “Yes”. Prince Telion nodded his head towards the commander “CHARGE !” he ordered and the soldiers went into the camp. “Stop them ! Don’t let them take the prisoners !” Shouted Estirnach. Prince Telion sent a dark stream at Estirnach who dodged and backed off “Kill them all !”.

Prince Telion found himself quickly surrounded by bandits. One of them charged towards him but he quickly kicked him to the ground and began to cast magic around him. He quickly overcame the opponents knocking them unconscious and quickly began to clear his path through the camp towards the cave. A sudden mute light appeared in the cave “Twinkle what are you doing here ?” asked Kail. Twinkle closed to him and began to cut the rope with a little white beam “Is Lightwing here too ?” Twinkle chirped with approval. The rope was cut and they could stand on their legs “Good now let’s get the hell out of here” said Elian “Not until we find that Estirnach” said Liana “You never listen, we are going to DIE here if we don’t get out, it’s just a question of time until the Neferonians come here too !”. Suddenly they saw a person running into the cave, it was Estirnach. Liana didn’t think twice, with two powerful blows he was smashed into the floor. “How did you … “ he said as Kail and Elian grabbed his hands , then began to laugh “You found me, now what ? What are you going to do ? Kill me ?” “I’m going to make sure you won’t raid those villages anymore” “Really ? And how will you stop me ?” “leave you here” said Elian. “You launched a flare for the Neferonians to come, and they are not leaving with empty hands. They will have a ready cell for you somewhere deep in Neferon, where you won’t see the sunlight any time soon”. They quickly tied him to the wall of the cave “You can’t just leave me like this !” “Yes we can …” said Liana and they ran out of the cave.

==>

Outside the battle was still raging but it seemed like the soldiers already won. Bandits were scattering to all directions while prince Telion was knocking out anyone who was still fighting. They crouched behind a crate and began to sneak out of the camp. Lightwing was waiting for them just behind the hill. Kail quickly climbed on him and they took off. “Thank you Lightwing” he thought in his mind.

“They are not here sir, but we found the bandit leader tied to the wall” prince Telion closed to examine him “Seems like the warden became the prisoner” said the master “So they must be nearby” said prince Telion “leave him here, I’m sure the Neferonian ambassador will be glad to see this, that will teach you both not to mess up with me, man the ship !” he commanded. The soldiers assembled in a line “Ahead MARCH” ordered the commander and the soldiers began to march back to the dark star.

The following morning old Redrich was ready to eat his breakfast when suddenly he heard a knocking on the door of his house. "What is this fuss all about ?" he asked as he opened the door. Outside was standing the whole village "Come to the square !". In the square the villagers stood around a small box. When he opened it he was amazed to discover it was filled with golden coins "Bless you young lady" he said. Lightwing was already far away, going west. Elian looked down on the green forests below them "What a hell of a place. Bandits, Neferonians , crazy princes, welcome to the In-Between lands"



The end of eighteenth chapter.
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Re: Story Reborn !

Post by Iv121 » Sun Mar 31, 2013 4:24 pm

I also wonder why some (well one) voted 1/10 ... what's wrong with it ?
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Re: Story Reborn !

Post by Professor Fenway » Sat Apr 06, 2013 2:39 pm

RENAME THAT ISLAND NOW! I COMMAND IT!

EDIT: Where's the map?

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Re: Story Reborn !

Post by Iv121 » Sat Apr 06, 2013 2:42 pm

Oh you ninja I just removed it couse it turned out a bit small ? Dunno why it got resized, I'm currently reuploading it.

So here it is ready, still resized for some reason but clicking it opens the full image.
Spoiler:
Image
I will also upload the next chapter of the story soon.

BTW Which Island should I rename and why ? I guess there is only one Island I named but the other question still stands ...
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Re: Story Reborn !

Post by Professor Fenway » Sat Apr 06, 2013 2:55 pm

Because it is the name of my horrible sibling AI brother thing and I don't want to be reminded of him everytime I look at it.

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Re: Story Reborn !

Post by Chairman_Tiel » Sat Apr 06, 2013 2:58 pm

I hold my tongue.
[spoiler]Image[/spoiler]

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Re: Story Reborn !

Post by Iv121 » Sat Apr 06, 2013 3:00 pm

I don't think it's reasonable enough, this Island had appeared already in my story, I will challenge your memory and let you answer when :), this Island will play an important role in the story. (And BTW you can figure it out quite easily ... if you know where to search)
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Re: Story Reborn !

Post by Keon » Wed Apr 10, 2013 5:33 pm

You should make it a floating sky-island.
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Re: Story Reborn !

Post by Iv121 » Wed Apr 10, 2013 11:12 pm

That would be Skyhold, ofc there is a floating island :) .
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Re: Story Reborn !

Post by Iv121 » Sun May 26, 2013 3:18 pm

I haven't forgotten about this stuff and I keep reading and learning though I still believe my writing structure sucks, but I wonder how many of you want to see how the story unveils, new places, new characters , new lore , or maybe you all just hate every aspect of it ...
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Re: Story Reborn !

Post by Vinyl » Sun May 26, 2013 3:23 pm

It seems like it would be good, but I don't have the time to sit here on my computer and read 18 chapters. Plus I lose interest at around paragraph 2, anything beyond that is a struggle.
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