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So I decided to dust off DF and play a short game.
/joke

Enjoy your inevitable tantrum spiral / HFS / apocalypse of your choice here.

Also, weaponize the kittens. And puppies. And babydorfs.


To those unfamiliar with DF: losing is Fun.

All I know about Dwarf Fortress is that it has mind-blowing graphics.

Commander Error wrote:Enjoy your inevitable tantrum spiral / HFS / apocalypse of your choice here.

Also, weaponize the kittens. And puppies. And babydorfs.


To those unfamiliar with DF: losing is Fun.

Actually I've had two people go crazy, four have been possessed to make wooden staffs, and I dug a river trench around my map border so theives and child molesters get chased by my 16 dogs till they die.

Fwarf Dortress.

ACH0225 wrote:Fwarf Dortress.

Owl Fortress : Gulag edition

Owl Fortress:
1: owls cannot change jobs
2: owls will perform their jobs constantly until they die
3: owls will perform 45% worse at mining
4: owls can fly

Shadow, seasonal updates and inform us of the amusingly guesome deaths.

Also avoid the sponges.

Commander Error wrote:Shadow, seasonal updates and inform us of the amusingly guesome deaths.

Also avoid the sponges.

Ok we'll it's been like seven seasons already so fast recap:

Two migration waves arrived along with a liaison and traders, one immigrant got inside my river moat after putting the bridge down and then back up. I attempted crushing him under my main gate but that didn't work so I just shoved him in my dry moat and left him trapped down there where he proceeded to die from dehydration and a minor concussion.
One minion dwarf powering my artificial waterfall fell into the reservoir and died from drowning. I could've saved him but punishment for his insolence was death. Saftey measures are being redesigned to prevent dwarves from drowning more.
Unfortunantly for my immigrants a goblin siege arrived and slaughtered all of them violently outside my moats. I finally got the militia to work with the other four of my five man militia squad realizing they have to train while the one who has been training is halfway to legendary fighter.
Excessive animal and dwarf fucking has been occurring as I've been receiving many babies and puppies and kittens.

Next I plan to expand another hallway of bedrooms and insert aandatory 3/7 height swimming pool hallway to said bedrooms to teach my idiot dwarves to swim and make them take a bath. Also I plan to kill the goblin siege for sharp stuff.

Sounds good @siege. D'you use danger room training?

Also, do you execute migrants just for lulz? Or do you actually use the corpses for something?

Commander Error wrote:Sounds good @siege. D'you use danger room training?

Also, do you execute migrants just for lulz? Or do you actually use the corpses for something?

Currently it's just for the lulz and mostly so my population doesn't skyrocket more.

For training I just tell them to train in the barracks/archery range.

Danger rooms can be handy for melle dorfs; a bunch of wooden spear traps on repeat. Dwarf goes in, either gets bruised or trains dodge and armour user skills.

Beware children may wander inside and be impaled. But if you've pop. issues, not necessarily a bad thing.

Commander Error wrote:Danger rooms can be handy for melle dorfs; a bunch of wooden spear traps on repeat. Dwarf goes in, either gets bruised or trains dodge and armour user skills.

Beware children may wander inside and be impaled. But if you've pop. issues, not necessarily a bad thing.

Meh I'm considering the possible side effects of making a children grinder.

SPARTAN them?

As in, toss them in a small room with a bunch of dogs and enough booze/food for 12 years, so they end up superdwarvenly tough at the far end, ready for conscription?

Commander Error wrote:SPARTAN them?

As in, toss them in a small room with a bunch of dogs and enough booze/food for 12 years, so they end up superdwarvenly tough at the far end, ready for conscription?

And they shall all be named Bane when they come out. Problem is il need more babies, is there a force fuck button anywhere? I suppose I could just use DFhack to impregnate all my dwarves.