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Attention crew: For your safety, all safety features on this vessel have been disabled.

"In two hours, we storm the bridge, and escape"

Advisory to all crew: the aft engineering bathroom is not to be used after curry night.

Seriously. And you thought the engine room was on fire.

Also, Fenway, tell your AI to stop trying to bang the hyperdrive computer, I'm tired of un-mangling it. (Who knew comouters could get the afterglow?)

-Chief Engineer Error

"In two 3 hours, we storm the bridge, and escape"

Notice: The aft engineering crew quarters now have far too much fire for most species to complete a rest cycle. Whoever is lighting the aft engineering crew quarters on fire, please stop lighting the aft engineering crew quarters on fire. None of the fire extinguishers in the aft engineering crew quarters are currently functioning.

Due to shit going down, the armory will be locked until further notice and I took all the chips and movies with me.
Good luck getting guns for your little mutiny.

-Chief Equipment Officer Daynel

Notice: Any time a fire is started aboard [unless it is in the bridge or engineering deck] the computer will automatically vent the room's atmosphere to space. Regardless of any life inside.

Also: Aft engineering bathroom is now locked to department heads only. If you've got the curry shits, find an airlock and fire them into space. Seriously, guys.

-Engineer Extraordinaire Error

I am using the only shuttle currently in the shuttle bay to attend a psychological conference. Try not to blow up the ship while I'm gone.
- the counsellor

No promises

-Errah

Dear Daynel, do not worry, the security station on the bridge allows us to activate the very painful crowd suppression system in the armory. Your not in there right? That might explain the girly screams.